


What's Being Lost

by Hinganbachuru (Twilight_Joltik)



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club
Genre: Angst, Goodbyes, I'm tagging Caddy as both names because I don't know how to make AO3 register the change, Love that could have been, M/M, Paul Worst End
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 03:57:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8874817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilight_Joltik/pseuds/Hinganbachuru
Summary: Caddy's being sent back to England. Hidden Block probably won't last much longer. Hana's all but ruined everything Ian's come to hold dear.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to blame Treflev for giving me the idea to write more Caddimoose, and Paul's worst end for making me cry because Caddy didn't deserve that. Ian also did not deserve that. Or Jeff. Or any of them. So, let's just make them more miserable, shall we?

So this was it. So this was how it ended. Ian’s life would fall apart because of some girl he’d trusted, who he’d wanted to be friends with, deciding throwing people who had been nothing but kind to her under the bus was better than losing some stupid school election. 

 

There wouldn’t be a Hidden Block after the tournament, he was sure of that much. Hell, there probably couldn’t be a Hidden Block- even if they didn’t disband, either the school would make them or they’d get bullied by their fellow students until they didn’t have a choice. And this was probably the last time he’d see Caddy, judging by the fact he was set to go home in the morning. 

 

All Ian could think was that, if only he’d done things differently, if only he’d not encouraged Hana to work with Normal Boots, if only he hadn’t wanted to have a “bit of fun” with Jeff’s campaign, if only he’d told Caddy to be more careful with Slaughter and Salvage, everything would have been fine. His friends would be fine, he would be fine, the world would be in order and he could see his friends all smiling and together again. 

 

Jeff was nearly in tears, kept apologizing. It wasn’t his fault, it never could have been. How was he supposed to know Hana would play that dirty? 

 

Luke just kept staring out the window, like he wasn’t registering a thing that happened. He had his headphones on, and while his first guess would have been that he was listening to music, Ian noticed that they weren’t actually plugged into anything. 

 

Wallid, of all people, was the one to run off. It was his club, technically, Ian felt a bit offended that he refused to be there to witness its downfall, but at very least, he could understand the appeal. 

 

Jimmy, he just had taken to one of the corners and curled up in a blanket he’d had stashed in the room somewhere. He’d been crying too, judging by the tracks it’d left on his face. He hadn’t said a word the entire time, probably because, well, what could you say about something like this? What was there to say?

 

A few things, Ian thought, but there would be time to say them to all but one person. So he turned to Caddy, who’d buried his head in his arms and alternated between sobbing and laughing for the past half hour, and awkwardly put a hand on his shoulder. 

 

“I-Ian…” Caddy slowly looked up, tears still welling up in his eyes. Ian, he’d said. Not Moosey, not You Asshole, not anything he’d usually say. Another piece of his heart broke off and shattered. It really was all over, wasn’t it? 

 

“This is my fault,” Ian admitted softly. “I was the one who got the campaign nasty, it was my idea to go after Paul, I escalated things, I-”

 

A bitter laugh cut him off. Caddy was almost smiling. “I-idiot, that doesn’t make this your fault,” he protested weakly. “You said he was the bastard son of a tanuki, Hana accused us of firearms smuggling. That’s not escalating things, there’s no way to get from jokes to something that malicious that quickly.”

 

But it had gone there. It’d escalated to a point that it caused real damage. A joke and his friend’s spur-of-the-moment decision to run for Student Council had turned into something that he was sure would shape the rest of his high school life and probably break the only friendships he’d ever held dear. 

 

It was funny, he’d never realized how much he loved Hidden Block before. How much he counted on there being a spot for him at the lunch table, when he chose to take it. How reassuring it was to know there were a few benign constants in the world. Knowing he’d always hear Jimmy ramble on about the game he was playing again; he’d always get a bit annoyed by Luke rewriting a song eighty thousand times and singing it under his breath over and over again; Jeff would always be cheer him on at absolutely nothing requiring cheering on; Wallid would always spam the group chat with some joke he barely understood. 

 

And Caddy, god, even Caddy was a constant. It was nice to know he’d always be there, that he’d always have a reason to get excited about something, even if that excitement was solely for the purpose of out-arguing someone. He knew he didn’t hate him- far from it, Caddy was- had been one of his best friends, but that guy pushed all his buttons, knew just how to get under his skin. 

 

Even still, he still had his hand on Caddy’s shoulder. Upon realizing this, Ian’s hand slipped down a bit, before he could think better of it he was rubbing circles on his back. 

 

A strange hum came from the now crying again Caddy, who looked over at him with a strange look. “What are you-?”

 

“Trying to make you feel better, i-” He cut himself off. Now wasn’t the time for playful insults. If he was ever going to be straightforward and genuine with anyone in the group, it would be with Caddy and it would be now. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he corrected his previous statement to be a bit less snippy. “I just… I want to help you, but there’s nothing left I can do but this.”

 

“Well, keep doing it, Ian,” Caddy muttered, and he felt his heart break off and crumble a bit more. It felt wrong to talk like this, to hear Caddy so devoid of his usual fire, so listless and unwilling to put up a fight. 

 

It made sense, though. There was nothing left to fight. There was nothing left to do, just wait for the storm to crash down and rend their lovely little life asunder. 

 

Well, there was one fight left to win, he supposed. One person he could make pay for this all.

 

“Hey, Caddy, I’m gonna try to go the the tournament tomorrow,” he softly told his friend. 

 

From across the room, he could see Luke shaking his head, as if telling him to let it go. But no, if he could hold onto anything, even if it was hatred, he would. 

 

“I’ll tell Hana what a piece of shit she is, alright?”, he offered. “How I’ll never forgive her for hurting us.”

 

Caddy smiled weakly. “Give her one of your verbal smackdowns, make her cry for me, okay?”

 

Ian nodded in agreement. It felt wrong to want to hurt someone that much, but Ian truly did. He hated Hana, really and truly hated her. 

 

“Thanks, Ian.” God, Caddy sounded tired. He probably was, given how his head ended up flopping onto Ian’s shoulder. He didn’t actually fall asleep, at least, Ian didn’t think he did, but he at least calmed down a bit.

  
It felt unnatural, being that close to Caddy, but it was nice. Maybe if given more time to grow, their enmity could have blossomed into something more, something sweeter. Ian wished he could have seen the day he might have grown to love the person who would be ripped from his life in a matter of hours. 


End file.
